“At the top of the hour, an update on the heavy rain today and the flooding problems around town. Stay tuned. We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsor.”
The radio jingle was sung to the tune of “My Country ‘Tis of Thee.” Perhaps, thought Guy, the sponsor was attempting to add some gravitas to its firm’s image. If so, the words of the jingle belied that hope.
“We’re Horton, Hearst & Hough
Here to take care of you
Whenever you sue.
We’re big guys in gray suits
Who’ll take on your lawsuits
We’re Horton Hearst and Hough
Horton Hearst and Hough.”
As the ad patter continued, the show host, Aimee Elise, switched off her mike and turned to her guest.
“OK, in this next segment, I’m going to ask some tougher questions. Without asking you to risk saying too much for your own good, I expect some serious answers, provocative answers. That’s why I asked you on. On this show, we want to stimulate our listeners, not put them to sleep. Right?” Privately hoping that the upcoming segment would not thereby lead directly into the offices of Horton, Hearst, and Hough to seek the refuge of their expertise, Guy nodded. He sat waiting and wondering how many guests of the program had gone down that slippery slope already. “And in keeping with the apparent theme of the day – lots and lots of water, rain or otherwise – we’re back with our guest Guy Karon, ferryman extraordinaire, and owner of The Shorter Way Home, Lake Michigan’s premiere back and forth, Wisconsin to Michigan service. Tell us Guy, what took you into the business?”
“Our family has always been in the ferrying business. Back in Greece, where I was born, there are plenty of islands to go back and forth between, unlike here, though not so many lakes and rivers with ferries, as there are on the Wisconsin mainland. It seemed natural to stick to it when our family immigrated to the States. Sounds from the weather today as though some of your listeners will be needing a ferry, or at least a raft.”
“The flooding is quite serious in some areas. Once again listeners, stay tuned for updates. And so Guy, the big lake was no challenge for your family?”
“Great big sea to great big lake? Of course, the challenges are different. Let me put it this way, our navigation system is a lot different than a rowboat type you might use to gently cross a stream. We handle a lot of passengers, their vehicles and cargo, on each trip.”
“And will there be enough density in a city of our size to support your business, dare I say it, over the long haul?”
“We draw from a larger area than just the city, of course, but yes, it takes a large population and one that’s willing to travel to support it, in the long run.”
“I understand that you are not in favor of a new development that will bring an influx of people to live downtown. Isn’t that counter-productive, from a business point of view?”
“It might be, but there are other considerations, too.” Aimee was making circular gestures in front of her face, demanding that Guy say more. “Not all development is appropriate, even if it adds a customer base.”
“And how’s that? This is a lighthouse, isn’t it? I’d have thought you’d be the first to applaud a nautical theme, maybe even work out a partnership of some kind? Free passes to new owners, that kind of promotion. Isn’t this in the city’s best interests?”
“This particular proposal may mimic a lighthouse but of course wouldn’t perform the function of one, so I’ve never taken that into account in my objections. I disagree strongly that this proposal is in the best interests of the city.” Aimee finally smiled in approval.
“Let’s talk about this some more. Especially in the current economy, why isn’t all development positive?”
“I believe that this proposed building is inauthentic, and I’m very familiar with authentic lighthouses, as you can well imagine. It pretends to be a blueprint into the past but that’s just a cover for an omnivorous, self-justifying monstrosity. We… that’s why I call it, ‘The Parody on Prospect.’
“So who are the other objectors, Guy?”
“More and more people, I believe, as details emerge. For instance, the developer wants to install a time-capsule with memorabilia from the original lighthouse and to envelop the old one in the new, effectively sealing its structure away forever. That’s not what I would term historic preservation. More like destruction of history to me. It’s certainly not the way the majority of lighthouses are restored around the country. What next? Actors on the tiny planned public plaza portraying the lighthouse family, buckets of whitewash and brushes in hand?” Aimee was positively beaming.
“And is it just this particular proposal that you detest? What if a more conventional development were proposed for that site? I mean you live next door, isn’t that right? Is this simply self-interest?”
“So you might expect I especially want something wonderful next door, wouldn’t you? A restored lighthouse would be an interesting choice, don’t you think? Perhaps we could engage the preservationist community in that project.”
“Well, is that realistic? It’s zoned residential, isn’t it? And I don’t suppose that means a home for your lighthouse keeper’s family, does it?”
“Every proposal should be evaluated on its merits, surely. As should the credentials of any developer.”
“Are you suggesting then that there are no merits to this proposal? Or of this developer?” Guy paused, and grateful that this was a radio interview, not a taped or TV one, drew his hand across his throat, indicating to Aimee his wish for a break.
“And Guy will be back with answers to my questions, right after this important commercial break.” She killed their mikes.
“That was good, good. Liked the Parody bit.”
“I’m going to waffle on those last questions. Don’t want to end up with your lawyer sponsors, no matter how much I like your show. You can’t expect me to put myself in jeopardy.”
“Oh, but I can hope, can’t I?” She smiled and straightened back to her mike. “And we’re back. I was just asking Guy what he thought of the merits of this proposal and its developer.”
“This developer has been recognized by many in the city for his leadership in downtown development. Equally, he has experienced some setbacks and lawsuits, resolved and unresolved, as have other developers. My point is that each proposal should be evaluated, not taken carte blanche based on earlier success or failure by a developer. At the same time, if residents of developments previously constructed by a developer have run into difficulties with any aspect of it, that must also be taken into account and be subject to public scrutiny.”
“Thank you Guy Karon, for your candid and thought provoking remarks. We’re going to take a brief intermission before we meet our next guest, here to talk about the deep tunnel improvements.”